This is what i'm afraid of, and now it really happened. I fell for him. I fell for him hard. I don't like that. I don't want to ruin our friendship. But it's too late now. I am starting to ache for him. This. is. bad. 

This is your fault. You always made me feel so special. You always made me feel that in a sea of girls, you'd only see me. You always give me that sweet sweet smile whenever we come across each other. You would always be a gentleman when it comes to me. I hate that soul-piercing stare of yours. I hate that panty-creaming wink you do when you're being naughty. I hate your sexy voice. I hate everything you possess!

I hate them because i know they'd never be mine. 

Please stop doing these things to me. You're starting to hurt me. 

Grah. I'm starting to hate myself. I feel despicable. 

Med School has already got me on my knees, panting hard and clutching at my breast. And it had only been 3 weeks. I still li ke, have 7 more semesters to complete if I ever got through this one. Whew. Talk about toxicity.

But I honestly think those 3 weeks had been full of fun, albeit exhausting and all. Here are the highlights of it:

We have already started working on our cadaver. It wasn't my first time seeing a dead body, but it was my first time to dissect one. I felt really sorry for the dude we're working on, but we have to do it to learn. I pray for his soul to find peace, where ever it might be right now.

In our group, I was the only girl with enough bravado to join the dissecting party. See all the boys there? I'm one of them, LOL. I have to say it was a thrilling experience. I'm really glad I took up Medicine. :D

BTW, i'm not winking in that photo. My eyes were hurt because of the strong formaline fumes emanating from the cadaver. Di ako nagpapacute no! :D

Our Gross Anatomy is pretty hard. Compared to this, my college ana-physio looked like child's play. Besides from all the stuff you have to memorize, you also have to correlate them to the actual thing. And i'm telling ya, studying from the book and going to the model is no walk in the park. The 3-dimensional perspective is a lot more confusing than the pictures the books and atlases offers. And the specificity, God! Even if you got the name of the bone correctly, it still won't be counted unless you specify it's proper anatomical orientation. I learned that the hard way in our practical exam.

Example:

Question: Identify the bone with the <color> pin

My answer: Metacarpal

Correct answer: 4th Metacarpal of the right hand.

And the best part is that you only have 30 secs to answer. y_y Oh well. Bawi bawi na lang next practical. :D

MicroHSB. It's not easy but I've got a trump card on my sleeve. I am also a Medtech and microscopy is my turf. Harrrr. :D

What i like about our Micro is that we have our own microscopes. No more viewing in turns anymore, harhar. Though our microscopes are ancient, they still do the job. And they run electricity-free so i get why FEU still lets us use these when they have those sophisticated microscopes. Just maintaining the energy and the bulbs of those electric microscopes costs a fortune and our already sky-high expensive tuition fee will increase yet again. So i'm not complaining with my microscope. At least it's mine and mine only for the semester. :D

That's a Microscopic view of the Spinal cord btw. Another good feature of those old microscopes is that they enable us to take pictures on our camera phone sans the glare the usual electric microscope gives. It doesn't look bad, does it? : D

We also had a practical quiz on MicroHSB this week. I only got 2 mistakes, the one being a simple mathematical question. Ack. I hate numbers. The question was 15x45 and i answered 60,000. Hahahaha. Super bobo! :D

Shifting exams, we had already 4 of them I think? Well, i've been studying enough to prepare for them and I'm glad to say that i've been getting good scores. Yay for studying! It's the first time that i'm seeing studying in a new light. It's actually fun. Seriously, it is. Although the whole process of reading books and memorizing stuff is droning, the feeling that you gave your best and got the right answers in return is worth it. Every time I get a passing grade or a high score in a difficult exam, the feeling I get is like winning the lottery. Again, this is another pro of going into medicine for me. The con however, is losing sleep. But it's okay. Someone told me that something worthwhile is never easy to obtain; so i'm ready to sacrifice few hours of sleep just to get through med. :D

Here we are, studying for our upcoming quiz in Biochem. Or should i say nagpapanggap? Wala na ring pumapasok sa utak namin nun e. :D

Tin, see anyone you recognize? Haha. :D

Small group discussions, these are our laboratory work for Physiology. Instead of doing lab experiments (thank God for that), we are to sit on a conference table and discuss topics like doctors. There's no pressure in it, as long as the proctor's nice. But still, you'll never know when you'll come across the terror doctors so we take it pretty seriously just to be safe. I really like SGDs. I feel like a real doctor already when i'm in one. :D

These guys are like my permanent groupmates ever. And i'm thankful for that. All of them are really nice and hella smart, so I feel confident when i'm with them. This photo was taken after our SGD, but we were also discussing about our upcoming reports and stuff. The only disadvantage of this group is that we always come first, being the group 1 and all. Unfair! Lol. :D

And that's what these past 3 weeks had been all about. For the next week we have 2 reportings, 3 shifting exams, and 2 practical exams coming up. I'm gearing myself up to fight for my survival yet again for this week but the question is, kaya ko pa ba to?

Kakayanin. :D

Ciao~

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/metro/view/20090625-212430/Orgy-gone-awry-seen-in-teeners-death

Benjamin Peralta, we have never spoken formally but you mattered a lot to my bestfriend. For almost every moment that we get to talk to each other, he'd instantly complain to me how incredibly stupid and inane you were. But i'd just laugh it off and go along with him, because like I said, I never knew you personally. Yes, sometimes we'd stare at each other in silent recognition but we had never exchanged words. Not even a simple Hi nor a Hello. Yet, somehow, i feel affected by your passing. You were still too young, you have yet to enjoy life. You were a handsome kid, too bad i won't ever see you bloom into a better man anymore. I'm really sorry for you and all of those you left behind. I pray that where ever you are now, you'd find the peace you never found here. So long, kid.

"Igi, ano ba sa English yung manliligaw? Switor ba yun?"

Bye Benji. 

Ahh, it's been 2 weeks since classes started. And I must say those 2 weeks had taught me a lot of things. 

On Studying

I passed my Pre-med course without studying much at all. Really, even when there's a major exam coming up i'd still play Online games until morning. Then i'd just cram all my notes (handouts) in my head in the jeepney on my way to school. That was unhealthy, yes, but at least it got me this far.

But try doing that in Med? Tsk tsk. You're gonna get burned. 

Studying in FEU turned my study habit upside down, as in totally overhauled. But i think it's a good change, since Med is really hard. I now study for at least 2 hours every night without forcing myself to and even without the motivation of an upcoming exam for the next day. I'm actually proud of myself. And for the record, i haven't stayed for more than an hour for a day in front of my beloved PC. *beams* I guess it's time to get really serious about things, huh? :D

Medicine is a whole new battleground now, and i will do my veeeeryyyy best (more emphasis to the very LOL) just to make it out the war alive. The competition will be tough, since almost half of my classmates are either from UP or graduated cumm laude, but I won't be defeated so easily. Aba, i graduated cumm lande no, so there. Try and me beat me at that, lol.

Newfound friends

Actually, i'm quite popular in my class. Almost all of my classmates know my name. o_O Probably because my name is Golda (which strikes the not-so-funny bones of the geek squad) or because i'm an RMT. Medicine and Medical Technology overlap on some aspects and people think i know everything.... which is soooo not true. I'm as new to Med as a newly blossomed flower on the first day of spring. I don't like to be presented with the 'expectation' card, please. :/

So anyways, i found new (and old) friends to hang out with. We're a bunch of four now. The two of them are from UP and the other one used to be my underclassling back on MCU. They're pretty fun to be with and they help boost (although indirectly) my study drive. The UP girls study hard (as in hardcore-paper burning-zit sprouting-hard.) and the MCU guy kinda looks up to me, so it's safe to say that they're part of the force that compels me to study hard as well. It's only been 2 weeks, but i know this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Books and every other financially concerned thingy/ies.

Graah, they're so effin' expensive! Just the study manuals costs at least 600 php each when it looks almost the same as my MCU manuals which only costed me 200-300. Not to mention the essential textbooks which costs about 2000+++ each. So when they said that studying Med is gonna be an expensive affair, they weren't exaggerating at all. v_v

Photocopies are basically the life essence of students, but when they cost 2 pesos a page... it actually kills us. Well, me at least.

Eating lunch always costs me more than 100 now compared to the 40-50 php combos we used to have on our school canteen in MCU. FEU has no canteen. And it bothers me to no end that i'll have to eat at the FCM mall everyday for 4 years. I miss the dear old carinderias sa likod ng MCU.

Foren-gers.

We have 4 of them in our class alone, and i think we have about 20+ (or more?) foreigners studying with us in FEU. One of them is my seatmate. After 2 whole hours of sitting beside him in microHSB lab, i realized one thing. I can't understand american slang. But i'm starting to get used to it. Well, i need to get used to it. He'll be my seatmate for the rest of my stay in FEU so God help me. Hahaha. Nosebleed galore!

But aside from the fact that he can't get rid of his slang even if his life depended on it, he's actually very nice. And handsome (wahahah) to boot. He really tries his best to make me feel comfortable with him and compliments me on almost everything i do. Just imagine my heart already deflated and dying from all the heartfart i make when i'm with him. LOL. :D

Examinations

Shifting exams are cruel. Not only that they're hard, but also takes place during lunch time. How can they teach us all about Physiology when they're violating our physiological needs? :O

***

Yup yup. It's only been 2 weeks. Something tells me i'm going to have loads of fun in the future. 

I'm looking forward to it. :D