Wala na namang pasok bukas.. Walang P.E.!! xD

It's official na, Pres. Gloria announced it today at TV patrol. Buong Pilipinas lahat ng schools, all levels ay wala ng pasok. xD

I need something to do, something to get busy with... kakatamad talaga pag wala kang ginagawa..

Despite the growing anticipation of the people about christmas being near, i don't feel an inkling of yuletide cheer in me.

So yeah it's getting colder,

What, if the neighbors have already set their christmas decors on their porches?

Friends going ga-ga over buying christmas presents doesn't mean anything to me.

I don't care if i don't get anything this year. I am VERY used to that. The only presents i get are from the usual christmas parties held by schools every year. Despite all the efforts i exert to give my opposite a memorable present for christmas, what i get back are always either a set of hygenic products (i.e. brushes, colognes, soap) or a clock; some kind of a malicious joke made by my peers to remind me to come on time and try to look at least half-decent when i do. Very full of christmas love, isn't it?

And as for my family, all of us share the same distorted idea of christmas: relatives coming over to suck you dry of your christmas bonus. Joy.

As for me, christmas is just a time of the month where the atmosphere in a relatively tropical country starts to drop and fog seeps to envelope in coldness the very first things it could touch. Also a time when you wanted to kick ignorant professors' butt for telling students that this coming december 25, Jesus will be born. Na-uh! This coming december 25 will be only a celebration of the infant messiah's birth, and not every december 25 Jesus will revert in to an embryo again to go back to Mama mary's womb and be born again and again and again! That's bugris ng kalabaw or Bullshit if you don't understand bisaya.

Sheesh.. why do i even bother. I'm not a believer of the catholic church anyway, just a believer of GOD and GOD only. Believing in a priest that indulges with riches (i.e A priest with a Ford Expedition and a driver to boot. Also the prayles from a long long time ago) is a representation of Jesus/God is like believing that most priests are celibate. Wooops! i better keep my mouth shut. How did my topic shifted here anyway? Harhar >:D

Hey, i'm not trying to dampen anyone's christmas cheer here. Go ahead and splurge with yuletide shopping and sales, it's your money anyway. But i'm not gonna waste my money (if i even have some. I'm so dead broke. My dad made sure of that) buying people presents that will just be locked away after sometime. For me, the best present i'd rather recieve this christmas is some peace of mind and the best present i can give is giving you a piece of my mind. So there you go, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!! :D

I've been reading Da Vinci Code in our pc and i was appalled with the revelations inside. Cool, i was really absorbed with the story that i have to always remind myself that the book i'm reading is only fiction (Except of course for the facts used). It's like reading a history book and a thriller novel at the same time. I'd say that this book is more educating rather than those they recommend at school. /no1

I'm planning to buy this book i found in NBS, it's called The Templars' Revelation: Jesus' real identity; the reference book used by my new hero Dan Brown <3.

Ever since i was in grade 1, i've never believed in the catholic church. I've never read the bible wholly; i always flunk my religion class. Why? Because i've never believed that God only thinks that men (as in guys) are the only ones who are rightful to serve the church. Every sunday when we hear the mass, i'd always ask my mom why the church is run only by men at every oppurtunity given to me. The priests are only men, the layministers are only men, and the altar boys. The only women there are the gospel readers, but that's all. That's all the role given to women. I told my mom that that's unfair, but then again, my mom is blinded by her faith. She'd always pinch me hard everytime i question christianity. Even if the facts about the church's lies danced in front of her naked, she'll just ignore it. Same with my blockmates. They're accusing me of being an anti-christ but i'm not. I'm an anti-Catholic church, but not an anti-christ or an atheist. Just like what i've said from my post before, i believe in God, and God only. But, what can you expect from probinsyanos? (i'm not generalizing, i'm only pertaining to some <3) They're so damn fanatic about christianity. That's why the spaniards got through the filipinos before so quickly. they easily believe lies but the truth, they have a hard time accepting. Just like the time of noah and his ark.

And as for the priests, i don't believe most of them. Especially our parish priest. I was really angry that time when he was preaching that women should be subservient to men because Eve was just made from adam's side or something like that. And that wives should follow their husbands' every whim even if they're hurting them because God will accept them in heaven if they do. Fuck. God is not a machoist, and women have rights too! Did he even acknowledged all the good things women can do, just like giving birth and motherhood? Noooo~, he only villainized women and made them look like dirt that should've been more than happy when men are hurting them. After that stupid homily, i've always see to it that i'll never again be dragged to that church and listen to that priest's stupid homily.

I'm not really being a feminist here, but i don't believe in a machoist religion either. Read Da Vinci Code and you'll realize that i'm not just a little girl ranting and raving about the church's unfairness to women. There's much more than that. I'm not telling, just read it. Support my hero Dan Brown and buy his book. <3

I feel so elated today. What i thought was going to be a bleak, uneventful sunday turned out to be the contrary. This spoiled, bratty half-boy half-girl who posted this entry on an ungodly hour is going to be a big sister very soon. Yes, very soon. Well, a Foster sister that is. My real younger sister had already died years ago. And now my 'rents are going to adopt a baby girl. We're going to adopt one from the twins my mom's very distant relative sired. The other twin goes to my mom's other relative. They're really poor, and the sight of hungry babies' really tears my mom's heart apart. So my mom and dad decided that since me and my bro can already take care of ourselves, they'll keep a foster child out of philanthrophy. I just hope that our soon-to-be adopted baby doesn't turn out to be a psycho when she grows up. *shifts eyes*

Well, is this one good or bad news? You tell me.

P.S.: I've been to The Fort today, and it's so beautiful in there. It's like i've left the Philippines and went to Italy within the interval of an hour. It feels like being on another planet on a different time. But my dad said that The Fort's otherworldly magic is exclusive only at night and the place is a very different at morning. Oh well. I know some of you have been there a lot of times and you must be wondering why i was so excited with that place. Well, i don't really go out a lot. Imma good girl, lol. <3

Good Lord, tabulas is hacked. I've been telling people before, but it seems that no one even bothered to listen. If you would kindly look at my previous entry which was entitled: Eh?, you'd know that tabulas had been hacked before, Only that it wasn't this big as compared to the latest attack.

I wonder... who would want to destroy OUR beloved tabulas anyway? Did those hackers chose tabulas randomly or have they been plotting this from a very long time ago? Did they do it out of spite or out of fun? Are they just plain pranksters or were they old users that had been dissatisfied with tabulas and wanted it eliminated? There are a dozen questions regarding this, but the main is WHY. Personally, I don't think tabbie (allow me to call tabulas tabbie. You see, tabulas is a very dear thing to me.) is doing any harm. In fact, i think it's even benefitting distressed youth like me by being an outlet to our creative urges; a listener to our pains; an archive of our everyday's misadventures so that someday, we can have something to laugh at. And lastly a place where people can socialize online. So, why? WHAT IS THE BECAUSE OF THIS?!

My golly, i thought i had lost my tabbie forever. You see, our PC crashed down yesterday so my bro had to reformat it. So basically all of our PC's memory were swiped clean and so were the cookies. I was not logged in in my tabbie so i went to http://home.tabulas.com and saw what those sneaks had done to tabulas. I couldn't log in and i really felt lost without my tabbie. If i hadn't checked nique's post, i wouldn't be able to find an alternative way to log in to my tabbie. T_T So, thanks nique. Glad you are one of my tabbie friends.

I've been a fan of the Sailor Moon Anime Series ever since i was in Elementary. Yes, i'll admit it. I'm a fan-girl of that Anime even up to now. And now imma wanna watch it ;_;

The anime was a little to magical girl-y, but nonetheless, i love it. But how about the Live-action version? Well, my first thought was, "Geez, the japs are so eccentric! I know that's why they're such a genius in the first place, but this?!" I thought that this one is gonna be as corny like Mask Rider Ryuuki, but guess again. Another first impression gone wrong. It's great, and all of the actors are all so F-ing cute! Especially the girls who played Usagi (sailormoon) and Rei (sailormars). Unlike the Live-action versions of other anime, this one just got the right cast. All of them are perfect for the role, they even look maangas (sorry for being like a konyo, but i don't know how to put my awe into words) when they are in their sailor costumes and anime-ish hair. They don't look cheezy and "trying-hard"s at all! I'd say that the japs really loved this anime to put so much effort into making it's LA version great.

This is something disturbing but i should let you know: The americans were the first one who conceptualized the Live-Action of Sailormoon. And they were planning to star Sarah Michelle Gellar as Sailormoon/Usagi. Demented, yes? >:D

If you're still thinking that the LA of Sailormoon is rubbish, look this up: Eternal-moon. You'll see why i was so flabbergasted with it. >:D

Kanashimi ga ima seeraa sumairu
Kiseki wo okosu no seeraa uingu
Dare datte kagayaku hoshi wo motsu
Makenai! Ashita e seeraa eeru
Zettai! Tsukamaeru! Seeraa sutaa
Kono chikai todoke ginga made

Give sadness now a sailor smile
Bringing a miracle, a sailor wing
Everybody carries a shining star inside
I won't give up! To tomorrow, a sailor yell
For sure! I will catch it! The sailor star
Let this vow sound through the whole galaxy

*my most fave opening of SM. It's the last season's opening song. The one where they're battling the 3-gurls. (guy/girl if you're too daft :D) Or the ones called the Sailor Stars. Ah.. i miss sailormoon

Here's a sample pic btw:

I need to study even harder. I need to be on the top of my class again.

I've been slacking off, and now i'm feeling the consequences of my actions. I'm a CHED scholar but i'm not really working hard to deserve such honor. As long as my grades touch the minimal GPA requirement to maintain my scholarship, i'm happy with it. But now, i'm feeling restless. If i don't get that 1.75 GPA requirement this sem, i'll die.

We're not really that poor, but we're not rich either. I really need that scholarship, not just for the money but for my dream as well. I'm going to pursue Medicine after i've finished Medtech. And I'll be needing good credentials in order to do so.

Gawd.

I'm burdened with so many responsibilities at school. Our Dean's been nagging me to study harder and try to get AT LEAST a 1.5 GPA so i could be a PAMET scholar and a TANCHOCO scholar as well. Not to mention painting bullions of murals and posters for the upcoming "Poster-Making Contest" which i was the chosen to represent the college of medtech. I was picked for the Intercollegiate Debate too. And i also have to organize the place where we're going to hold our NSTP 2. I ALSO HAVE TO FIND 40 FREAKIN' CHILDREN FOR US TO TEACH! Gawd, i feel the world in my back. Di pa ako presidente ng klase namin nyan ha. Namputa.

What have i done to deserve this?

Nampota tinatamad akong pumasok.

Itong araw na `to, gusto ko na talagang mamatay. Nagpunta kami sa mall ngaun ng barkada ko, dala ko cellfone ng kuya ko na 3650. Pinalagay ko lang ng sandali sa bag ng bestfriend ko tapos, boom, magic, nawala na ang cellfone. Todo iyak ko nun sa mall, and ang pinakamasamang nangyari e nung paguwi ko at nalaman ng dad ko ang nangyari, sinabihan nya ang mom ko na ayaw na raw nyang makita ang pagmumukha ko. Di ba ang sakit nun? Kaya ang ginawa na lang ng mom ko e para hindi ako tuluyang patayin ng dad ko e, hiniram muna nya ung PS2 ng bestfriend ko para insurance lang habang hindi pa napapalitan ng best ko ung cellfone ni kuya. Okey sana, kaso nakakakunsenya rin naman sa parte ng bestfriend ko. Wala na nga ang parents nya dito sa pinas e, kukunin ko pa PS2 nya... pero kailangan ko ring gawin yun kundi papatayin ako ng dad ko..

Shit, bakit kasi ang tanga tanga ko e... ang dami na ngang signs kaninang umaga na hindi na dapat ako sumama sa mall... tapos nagpumilit pa rin ako... sinong tanga?

Ako

Wag ka nang magalala
Hinding-hindi ako inlab sayo
Bakit ba pakiramdam mo pa yata
Lahat kami ay naaakit mo

Miss, miss, pakitigil lang please
Ang iyong pagpapantasya
Hindi ka na nakakatuwa
Ipapagulpi na kita sa gwardyang may batuta
AAaaaa...yay yay yah.......

Hindi ko talaga ma-gets kung bakit ka ganyan
Ang feeling mo ay sabik sa iyo ang lahat nang kalalakihan
Sorry, pagpasensyahan mo na
Mali talaga ang iyong inaakala
Lahat kami ay nandidiri sa iyo
Ikaskas mo na sana ang mukha mo sa semento

Chorus:
Di kami na-tuturn on sa kutis mong kulay champurado
Di kami naaakit sa labi mong garabucho...
O please naman, pakitanggap mo na lang ang katotohanan
Na ganyan ka 'pinanganak
Wag ka nang magpapanggap na ikaw ay isang dalagang ubod ng ganda
Kahit na alam naman natin na ang karakas mo ay ubod ng sama
Siguro nga naman ay may mga mas pangit pa sayo
Pero at least hindi sila nagpapakyut katulad mo
Nakaka-bad-trip ka, nakakairita tuwing kita'y nakikita
Di ko alam ba't ang laki ng ulo mo
Magingat-ingat ka, baka ikaw ay sagasaan ko

Refrain:
Di kami na-tuturn on sa kutis mong kulay champurado
Di kami naaakit sa labi mong garabucho...
O please naman, pakitanggap mo na lang ang katotohanan
Na ganyan ka 'pinanganak
Wag ka nang magpapanggap na ikaw ay isang dalagang ubod ng ganda
Kahit na alam naman natin na ang karakas mo ay ubod ng sama

O please naman, pakitanggap mo na lang ang katotohanan
Na ganyan ka 'pinanganak
Wag ka nang magpapanggap na ikaw ay isang dalagang ubod ng ganda
Kahit na alam naman natin na ang karakas mo ay ubod ng sama
AAaaaa...yay yay....

---

This song rocks! xD

Edited the position of my layout. Nakita ko kasi na sobra palang nasa right sya when viewed in win95. Dito kasi sa PC ko e, okay lang ang alignment nya sa right. Ano ba ang mas okey, itong bago, o yung luma? Help please..

To tell you honestly, it sucked. In terms of the battle system, that is. I really adore the graphics, so "fetch". ;P Anyways, If you're looking for a more challenging RPG, i'd say you steer away from this one. But if you're just looking for a cute, romance RPG with kick-ass graphics, this one's for you. Sometimes i don't think of it as an RPG anymore, it's more like squaresoft's way of flaunting their "almost" human CG graphics. It's like, the role-playing's part there is for you to just make tidus walk around. But then again, you're not role-playing here anymore, you're just manipulating tidus with your articulate analog stick. Unlike in FFVIII or in Legend of Legaia, you get to name your character and choose decisions for it. That's what i call Role-Playing. But should FFX still be categorized as an RPG? The story is very nice, but it's much better in the movies rather than in a game. I think the same for FFX-2.

I really wish that square would make another FFVIII for PS2. And it should have the same characters, story and battle system. The only change it should have must be the graphics and the voice-overs. Now THAT would be kick-ass. FFVIII still is the best final fantasy game for me, and it would never change.

Squall or Tidus? = Squall
Rinoa or Yuna? = Rinoa
Zell or Wakka? = Both!
Quistis or Lulu? = Lulu
Irvine or Auron? = Auron
Selphie or Rikku? = Both!


Squall x Rinoa or Tidus x Yuna? = Squall x Rinoa! The original cutest loveteam evarrr! x3

P.S.: What i really hate in FFX is the way the men there wear clothes. Why do they always have to wear something skimpy and clothes that expose their armpits? The perfect example is Tidus and Wakka. Don't they ever get pierced when enemies hit them? And doesn't Wakka smell bad after he just ran miles without any decent shirt on? Eww... And just look at tidus clothes, they look like they've been dry-cleaned very badly and shrunked! BUT NOBODY IN FREAKIN' SPIRA NOTICES IT! WHY?!!!!!

At least Squall's and his gang's outfits are cool. One can copy their style and not look stupid in the real world. But try copying tidus' attire, let's observe how many minutes the one who dared lasts before the fashion police shows up and arrests him. >:D

And lastly, why, WHY don't the men in Spira have any chest and armpit hair?! x(

*sighs* This is hopeless.

No offense to the fans of FFX. I'm just practicing my right of free speech. Peace ^_^v.

Rizal's retraction issue? Phooey. He lived in germany for how many years and he's a member of the masonry. I believe that he's a member of the priory as well. Just look at Noli me tangere and El Filibusterismo, it's dedicated to Maria Clara and it opposes the church, calling it a liar and women oppressors. And guess what, Rizal's a rumored homosexual and a feminist too. That's why he and josephine never had a child when they have a lot of "time" for themselves in Dagupan.

But sadly, the first historians were the spanish priests. And they distort reality, that's what they're good that. So about Rizal's retraction? I doubt it. I bet they just told everybody that so that the church would be feared. And if the church is feared, more money for the prayles. Witty, no?

Maria Clara, the woman in Rizal's 2 famous novels. Who is she anyway? Historians speculated that she may be based from Leonor Rivera, (with a pen name of Taimis) Rizal's 13-year old cousin and sweetheart. But why would Rizal base a full-grown woman from a mere child? And from what i've researched, Leonor and Maria Clara doesn't have anything alike. Maybe Rizal used Leonor to cover Maria Clara's real identity.

Also, don't you see the situation between Maria Clara - Chrisostomo Ibarra is almost the same with Jesus Christ - Mary Magdalene? For pete's sake, just look at the names! And they both have this "forbidden" affair that Padre Damaso was angry about just as St. Peter was too with Jesus and Magdalene.

Sheesh.

I've been looking for the unpublished chapters of the 2 novels, the ones he couldn't publish because of "insufficient" funds. Duh. What's Maximo Viola's role in the first place? Isn't he Rizal's filthy rich book-publishing financer? Jeebus.

I'll not rant anymore. I might be tracked by the NBI or the Vatican Church. It's true, a person can be arrested or located by the police just by whining over the net about somethings they wish to keep confidential. I just saw that news on CNN last week. @_@

Oh and, one more thing. If you're going to research about Rizal, make sure you don't use Gregorio Zayde's books. He's a Rizal fanatic and he sometimes make Pepe (Rizal) look like a saint. You don't want that do you?

Now, after all of this things i've learned about Pepe, will i still look up to him as my hero? Absolutely.

Raarrr.

sTiCkY CaPZzZ...

I really hate it when people type like that. I think some use sticky caps to make whatever-in-God's-name they're typing interesting. Well, let me tell you guys something-- IT'S NOT INTERESTING. In fact, it is annoying. Why use sticky caps when there's a more proper way of making your words cute and cool-looking? You're just making the people who reads whatever-you're-typing dizzy when you use sticky caps.

Example:
oW mAy GawD,,, wHy DOn't jo0 juz DiE aND bRInG aLOnG tO heLL yOoR sToopEed En aNnoyEenG sTiCkY CaPzZ sO tHAt wE cUd oL LeEvE eEN PeACe en hARmoNiEee..????!!!!

Now tell me, do you find that kind of typing cute and interesting? x(

---

Grarrr. I hate christmas. I hate the carolers; THEY'RE F-ING INFINITE AND POPS UP IN OUR FRONT GATE EVERY F-ING SECOND! They're singing only one type of song and expect large sums of money in return for their off-key tunes. It makes me sick because i have to give them coins every minute or so. Harrrrr....!

Yeah, i'm mean. So what?

---

*taken this from zuv's blog:

SANTA CLAUS = SATAN LUCAS

Lucas is the modern version of Lucifer, or the ultimate evil in christianity. Santa is evil because he's diverting the children's attention from the real cause of celebration: Jesus' Birthday. Christmas is not Santa's time, it's Jesus'. So there, die Santa! Since you never really brought me any present despite the fact that i've been a very good girl, i believe that you're EEBIIIIIL! muahahahaha! xD

Ooh bitchy, bitchy me.

Haha, for the first time after 6 years, i came to hear the 8th day of the traditional energy-and-sleep-waster, Simbang Gabi. It was really electrifying, getting to visit the village chapel that once looked big and glorious when i was a little girl. Now it looked shabby and ickle. I guess, everything looks bright and nice in the eyes of a child; but in reality, everything bites. (not literally, git. :D)

After that mass, i've learned another irony in life. Most of those with Christmas cheer have forgotten the real meaning of Christmas; They are deluded with yuletide shopping and parties and exchange gifts. Try asking the ones who seemed to be drained of their Christmas happiness then. They'll answer "Christmas is the time of Jesus' birth, dufus." For a while there, i've kinda forgotten the real deal about Christmas. But i remember now. Thanks, tabbie, for giving me a wake-up-to-the-reality slap. :D

Christmas is a rollercoaster of emotions. And now i'm currently on my 2nd loop.

Somebody PM'ed me this afternoon, i really don't know whether it's just an innocent question or an accusation. Well then, allow me to clear somethings out, for the sake of Ms. Anonymous and everybody else who's interested on my say.

Ms. Anonymous' Letter: (edited the typos and translated it into english. Removed explicit contents too.)
You're a Filipino, right? Then how come you must always post your entries in english and italicize tagalog terms? Why don't you use tagalog when blogging instead? I think its insulting for the flips. You're one yet you don't patronize your own language and use it like a foreign word by italicizing them. You must really think highly of yourself, don't you? I bet you think tagalog is yucky and english is sosi-er, that's why you use it all the time. I also think that you're a show-off, you love making the people see that you're good at speaking english.

I really don't know what to say. I see a lot of Filipinos like me post in english as well, so what's wrong about me blogging in english too?

I'm really exhausted, so lemme just enumerate my reasons. I really do hope you get the message, Ms. Anonymous.

1.) I blog in english because i'm still improving my grammar. I know i don't have a perfect grammar, that's why i'm practicing. Doesn't practice makes perfect? Whatever.

2.) I italicize tagalog terms because it is foreign to the language i'm trying to master, not because it's foreign to me. And i believe it was stated in the books that no two unlike languages must be used in order to make a correct, coherent sentence. If it cannot be avoided, the use of "" (or in my case, italicizing) comes in.

3.) I wish to improve my writing and spelling skills. 'Nuff said.

4.) I need to be fluent in english because it is mandatory to the course i plan to finish. In case you do not know, i'm planning to finish Medical Technology here, go abroad and work as a Bio-Medical Scientist in the U.S. of A. But, if i still have the energy and will-power (and money), i'll pursue Medicine in the States instead. Who knows, i might be able to fulfill my dream to be a Forensic Scientist & Investigator in the U.S.. Then i'll be famous. Buahahaha xD. I kid, i kid.

So, in order to do all those mentioned above, i need to master english, right? Besides, how would i look like if i speak broken english with an American? It'd make me look bad. So i guess it's for my name as well.

5.) I'm a firm believer of my English prof's motto, which is: "Learn English at School, Practice it outside. Because true learning is acquired through application of knowledge." Great woman, she is. My prof, Ma'am Jane. *salutes*

6.) This may not be relevant but, i blog this way so that i can memorize the letters of the keyboard and type without looking at it. I'm also practicing to type very fast alongside it.

There. That's all of the reasons why i blog in english. Me tired now, need....to....sleeep. *faints*

Let me tell you something about myself that you should've known a long time ago.

I am Sick.

Na-uh, not what you're thinking. I'm not physically unwell.

I just thought that i have to let this all out. I'll go crazy if i don't.

Have you ever felt this feeling, that whenever you must and should feel pain, there's nothing there?

I always feel that.

I don't know how to react to the things around me anymore. Everytime i'm supposed to feel something, a strange vaccum inside my chest is there instead. Just like the time i lost an expensive cellphone. I was really trying hard to feel sad, i even cried. But no tears came gushing out, only perspiration. After a few minutes or so, i was OK again, like nothing happened. And all the drama at my house? I'm a very good actress, i should say. I only made-up a charade of a sad, grief-stricken child; but it was only because i was afraid of my dad.

If i were given a choice that time, i would've only shrugged. But having a madman for a dad will really force you to do what i did.

When a relative dies, you should feel sad too, right? I don't. But what's disturbing about it is that whenever i take a peek at the casket, i'd smile instead. Then something inside me commands me to laugh on the top of my lungs, like something really, really joyous have happened. The Devil? Perhaps.. i really don't know.

And the giddy, bubbly girl you knew online? I only become like that online. I'm more of the quiet and reserved introvert.

Now you understand what i meant by saying that i am Sick.

No, i did not write this entry for pity. I just want to let out some of my bottled-up feelings. I've been looking for an outlet for years, and now i've finally found it.

Anyways, i've just realized that it's already the 24th of December. So, Merry Christmas everybody. May you all feel happy with your family tonight, unlike here in my house.

Yay, the New Year Feast is coming up next! It's time to stretch our very small budget again to prepare for the Media Noche! It's also time to blast our limbs apart and suffer from high-blood again!!! YAY!!!

I've had my hair re-straightened again. And this time, with hot oil. Now i look like a hair-straightening shampoo model, lol. Well, it's better than to have a tangled mesh of wires for hair at least. : ) And next time that i'll recieve money, i'll have my hair dyed jet-black. It's pretty annoying to have dark-brown hair y'know, people always ask me if i've dyed it or something like that. It looks so unnatural even if it is natural, especially the mocha-brown streaks. Raaar, i'd love to have brown eyes, but nooeeew, i got freaky-brown-hair-that-looks-like-auburn-in-the-sun instead. Jeebus.

I know some girls think it's pretty to have dark-brown hair, i do too. It's just that, it doesn't really match with my skin color. I'm Morena and in my opinion, my hair color is better-off with Tisays. And besides, Black is sexay. ;P

Yesterday, we went to my dad's relatives' houses to give some presents for the children and my inaanak. This is the first time we did that, really. My mom planned the whole thing. She thought that if we go there personally and give presents to the children, tell them that we're spending our christmas in Subic, they won't go to our house to ask for christmas money and christmas etceteras anymore. And you know what? IT WORKED. No more bugging children and adults (note: the adults are certified, 100% bums) asking for money, food, and petty things (e.g. clothes, gameboy, even our PS!) from my dad. Sumosobra naman kasi sila e. They demand my dad to give them 500 pesos each, like my dad owe them money every Christmas or something. Anong `kala nila sa'min, namumulot ng pera? Tapos pag di sila nabibigyan, pinagchichismisan nila kami at pinagsasalitaan ng masama sa likod. Tapos pag napagbibigyan, kung ano-ano nang kaplastikan ang sasabihin. Parang, "Gold, ang ganda mo na a!" or "Nagpatangos ka ba ng ilong? Ang ganda kasi ng korte e!" That's why i hate them so much.. so much that i always include in my prayers that God strike them all dead.

Then, we went to my mom's set of relatives. Well, not really blood relatives.. my grandparents just adopted them and paid for their studies.. only they didn't finish college despite the very wonderful oppurtunity my gramps gave them. They chose to marry first instead. So, the end-result: They are poor. They were worser than the first one, because they live in the shanties AKA the squatters area, specifically in Payatas. Now, where was i? Oh yes, so we went to their place (actually, we just waited infront of a nearby bakery because the stench was unbearable) and waited. So, while we were waiting, we counted the passing garbage trucks.. just like when you're counting sheep to get sleepy. (So much for a past-time, eh?) Then, at 2 o'clock, they came at last. And the set meeting time was 12 o'clock. To think that we were already there at 11. Geez, talk about filipino time.

After that, we went to SM Fairview. It was the 3rd time we went there and it'll probably be the last. That mall was so small and crowded, it was pretty difficult to breathe in there. But the most annoying part of that mall was the parking lot. When we entered the parking lot, nobody gave us a parking ticket, NOBODY. When we're about to go home, the guards were asking us for a ticket. So when we told them that nobody gave us any ticket, they placed us on hold and asked my dad for his liscence and our car's OR/CR. I think that's what lit the wick of my dad's temper. He almost punched the guards there, good thing my mom was able to stop him. So when we got out of that hellhole, my dad's mood's already been ruined. And it's been like that till Christmas and up to now. He's not talking to us and he kept sleeping all day. No "Merry Christmas" or anything like that from him. Just silence.

Our Noche Buena was a quiet one. If only food doesn't rot, we won't even bother eating. It was only me and my mom who ate together at the table. My dad was asleep and my bro was out getting drunk with his friends. And my panganay na kuya? He's celebrating his Christmas with my lola and aunt. Hrm, like i know him anyway. I haven't even spent a year together with that guy to celebrate a Christmas eve with him.

Another Year, Another Christmas Ruined.

Told ya i hate Christmas.

Man can only know the partial truth, but not the whole.

Sometimes, the truth can be compared with an apple. When you eat it, you only bite a small portion. You cannot swallow the apple wholly, it could choke you and could even cause your untimely death. Just like the truth, taking in the whole of it could cause you to have a mental breakdown. We can only understand a small part of it, then another, and another. Until we've understood the relationship of those partial truths and realize it as a whole, that's truly the time when one have achieved in knowing the real truth. And once you've reached that point, you are all-knowing or a sophist/ Wise Man.

But had somebody already achieved this state of being? I don't think so. Only God knows the whole truth.

Sometimes, when one eats an apple, he throws out the core containing the seeds. It's the same with truth. When man seeks out for it, he throws away the seed from the core, thinking it is useless and irrelevant with his quest. But what he doesn't know, that seed is GOD. He's the beginning, the source and the creator of the whole truth. Just like a seed to a fruit, there would be no fruit without the seed, right? And the fruit is there to be eaten and to propagate the seed. But only a few of us plant the seeds after knowing the truth. Hence, the truth dies along with the seed.

Most Geniuses put aside GOD and prioritize their research instead. I think that's what initiated the destruction of Man. We've always thought of the things we could do, but not what if we should.

Darn. This is the result when you are left alone in the house with no breakfast. :,(

My mom bought some VCD's from SM today. She rarely buys anything, especially when it's for herself. Maybe she just took advantage of the Yuletide sale. Anyways, the very first movie we watched from the stack of CD's she bought was Ancient Code, a story very much alike with Da Vinci Code. It's also about a search of some holy relic. We thought it was the holy grail they were looking for, but it was actually the nails used for crucifying Jesus. They were planning to resurrect Jesus by using his DNA on the nails, but they're intending to channel the spirit of the devil into the cloned body of Jesus instead.

Then in the movie, they mentioned something about Jesus that my mom believed instantly. My brother said it was fake and that it's only fiction, but my mom defended it because everything in that movie was based from real evidence. Since it was also mentioned in the movie about Mary Magdalene and Jesus' affair, i asked my mom: "So now you believe me that Magdalene's Jesus wife? You said it yourself that that movie was based from real evidence, right?"
And you know what she said in response? "Shut up, that's not true."

But, didn't she just said that everything there in that movie was based from real evidence, therefore everything in it is true?

Darn. How stubborn can one person be?

The end of the Christmas Vacation is drawing near.

I wish i was back in Highschool.

I wish i can play pRO again..

I wish i can play with doll houses and Barbie dolls just for once...

/sob

I had re-read all of the entries i've posted in this blog for 2004. I really can't help smiling while i was reading them. It's like looking in a mirror showing a younger version of me ranting, raving and squealing about the things that had annoyed, depressed and cheered me these past few months. Grabe, i've realized that i sometimes look like i have MPD (multiple personality disorder) when i write. I've tried looking at me without being like me, and what i saw was a girl torn between bubbly and mean. In one entry, i look so naiive and gullible. On the other, i look so scary and cold. @_@

You know, i've been wondering. My Zodiac sign is Gemini, and sometimes i feel like i have two personas living underneath this shell of blob and flesh.. like a twin stuck in one body... .. . the heck, i don't even believe in those whatevers anyway! haha, hnlabo! xD

Anyways, i just thought that it would be fun if i just take one last peek on how my life went this year, 2004... And it was. Even though not all of the entries i've posted here contained happy things, at least, i'll have something to cherish as i grow older. And all of the bad things that have happened this year will only become mere pictures in my mind, memories that i will remember always and experiences that had taught me valuable lessons.

Let's all hope and pray for a much better and prosperous new year, not only for us but also for our family, fellowmen and country as well. So that when we look back, there will be more happier moments to recall rather than the sad ones.

HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Copycats, don't we just all love 'em? I mean, being imitated by someone is some kind of flattery, isn't it? It's like being idolized by someone. The copycat wanted to be like you so that he would admired by others as he to you as well. I mean, that's good. As long as he's not doing any harm.

But when somebody copies your work but claims it to be his, is it still flattering? I daresay no. It should be a crime.. oh, wait. It IS a crime. Well, only if the thing he copied is copyrighted though.

Sometimes, copying someone's ideas is okay. I'll be a big, fat hypocrite if i don't admit that i copyied someone's ideas too before. But i think that we should only do this to a bare minimum. God made us all with a brain, so why not use it to make something original?

Hrm. Now why am i suddenly ranting about this stuff? Well, i just got my reaction paper about the movie "Alexander" for our philo class. I have my friend's paper here too because she was not around that day my prof returned it to us. I volunteered to keep it until i can give it to her. So, when i saw our papers, i was shocked. She copied almost half of the things i've written in my paper, even the last part which was "After watching that movie, don't you think the lack of the title the great suggests the overall aspect of the movie Alexander?" It was bad, REALLY BAD. But what's even worse is that our teacher actually thought that I was the one who copied from her paper, and that she wrote it there that i should explain to her after the holidays or else i get a 5. Fuck. Couldn't she see that my friend's paper lacked grammar consistencies and looked very obvious that she was the one who copied me? Not that i'm bragging, but when it comes to writing, our comparison is 10:4. This whole thing's bullshit. The next time i'll see her, i'll give her some piece of my mind. I'll make her explain to our prof that her bird-brain couldn't think of measly sentences to write so she copied mine instead.

Geez. I really hate it when those kind of things happen. So say it with me everybody, "DIE COPYCATS!!!!"

Acarophobia- Fear of itching or of the insects that cause itching.
Agateophobia- Fear of insanity.
Agliophobia- Fear of pain.
Agraphobia- Fear of sexual abuse.
Agrizoophobia- Fear of wild animals.
Apeirophobia- Fear of infinity.
Arachnephobia or Arachnophobia- Fear of spiders.
Atelophobia- Fear of imperfection.
Bathmophobia- Fear of stairs or steep slopes.
Cacophobia- Fear of ugliness.
Caligynephobia- Fear of beautiful women.
Catagelophobia- Fear of being ridiculed.
Catoptrophobia- Fear of mirrors.
Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns.
Cynophobia- Fear of dogs or rabies.
Demonophobia or Daemonophobia- Fear of demons.
Dermatosiophobia or Dermatophobia or Dermatopathophobia- Fear of skin disease.
Dishabiliophobia- Fear of undressing in front of someone.
Dysmorphophobia- Fear of deformity.
Eisoptrophobia- Fear of mirrors or of seeing oneself in a mirror.
Enosiophobia or Enissophobia- Fear of having committed an unpardonable sin or of criticism.
Glossophobia- Fear of speaking in public or of trying to speak.
Helminthophobia- Fear of being infested with worms
Herpetophobia- Fear of reptiles or creepy, crawly things.
Iophobia- Fear of poison.
Kakorrhaphiophobia- Fear of failure or defeat.
Katagelophobia- Fear of ridicule.
Lockiophobia- Fear of childbirth.
Lyssophobia- Fear of rabies or of becoming mad.
Necrophobia- Fear of death or dead things.
Odynophobia or Odynephobia- Fear of pain. (Algophobia)
Ophthalmophobia- Fear of being stared at.
Panthophobia- Fear of suffering and disease.
Paralipophobia- Fear of neglecting duty or responsibility.
Paraphobia- Fear of sexual perversion.
Poinephobia- Fear of punishment.
Satanophobia- Fear of Satan.
Scabiophobia- Fear of scabies.
Scotophobia- Fear of darkness. (Achluophobia)
Social Phobia- Fear of being evaluated negatively in social situations.
Spectrophobia- Fear of specters or ghosts.
Staurophobia- Fear of crosses or the crucifix.
Stygiophobia or Stigiophobia- Fear of hell.
Taphephobia or Taphophobia- Fear of being buried alive or of cemeteries.
Teratophobia- Fear of bearing a deformed child or fear of monsters or deformed people.
Thanatophobia or Thantophobia- Fear of death or dying.
Tocophobia- Fear of pregnancy or childbirth.
Tomophobia- Fear of surgical operations.
Topophobia- Fear of certain places or situations, such as stage fright.
Toxiphobia or Toxophobia or Toxicophobia- Fear of poison or of being accidently poisoned.
Traumatophobia- Fear of injury.
Virginitiphobia- Fear of rape.

So, which one best describes your fear?

Okay, since magbabagong-taon na, panahon na siguro para mag-awards night tayo dito sa tabulas! Hee-hee!

O nga pala, wala lang ito.. kalokohan ko lang to kaya... PEACE TAYO ha? ^_^v

*Cues in Grammy awards night music*

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the first ever Tabulas ko to! Awards night. I'll be your host, Mademoiselle Scarlet_hue!

Before we begin, i would like to thank God for making this year *ubo* wonderful for all of us. May this coming new year will also be as good and wonderful as this one. And now, with no further ado, let the awarding begin!

*Canned Applause*

And now, the winner for the Best Sensational Writer this year is:

Tentenenenen...!

Soulfly!

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For the Best Layout Maker, the award goes to:

Tentenenenen...!

Blossom_017!

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For the Best Story Writer, the award goes to:

Tentenenenen...!

Schneider!

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The Most Poetic Blogger award goes to:

Tentenenenen...!

Deadpoet!

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The Most Intriguing Personality award goes to:

Tentenenenen...!

Imdead!

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For the Coolest Tabulas Site (for me) the award goes to:

Tentenenenen...!

Music Html!

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The Pinakamakulit Blogger award goes to:

Tentenenenen...!

Master_thief!

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And now, the final award which is The Best Whiner goes to:

*drumroll*

Tentenenenen...!

ME, Scarlet_hue! muahahaha!!!

And that concludes this year's first Tabulas ko to! awards night! Thanks for reading this nonsense, whoever you are. :D

Have a happy new year everyone!! xD